Sillage
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Hi. I'm Jha. 18. UPLB.
Frustrated Drummer~ A Dra. in the making.
An epitome of a frisky-casted lass overpowered by the love of God.
Loved&&Blessed. I'm sold out for him. ♥

Can you fix me? 0%
know more here.
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His thoughts are greater than mine.

These past few months have been kind of rough. A lot of high and low points just popped right in front of me. I know I can’t bare it all alone, good thing - I am not alone in this battle. I thank God for he surpassed it all for me.

I have just heeded that I’ve become more mature in my thoughts. I thank Him for being responsible for this.

Considering the welfare of others first before yours, really meant love. I learnt that it’s not just all about the feelings - it’s about choice. You don’t just feel to be able to love someone. You choose to love despite all the imperfections. You don’t push what you want, you think of what will be good in their behalf. True love is selfless.

I can say it because I’ve felt it personally. True Love that came from Him. Now I know that I can love my neighbors selflessly because it’s the kind of love that he had showed me.

Thank you, Lord for showing us how much you love us. Selflessly sacrificed your own Son just for us. I am so blessed to be your princess.

We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

Sometime in the middle of the night, whilst other souls where in the middle of their sleep, her soul got up and refused to comply. She opened her lamp and turned a page, she can’t contain much focus into reading so she shifted into writing. Her words kept trembling and ceased to stand up. Rather than reading and writing, she shifted from doing a thing she knew would torment her. She reminisced pictures of someone, someone who was once a part of her life, someone who she used to love. Even if it left her an ache, somehow she believed that it felt good.

“The good times and the bad times both will pass. It will pass. It will get easier. But the fact that it will get easier does not mean that it doesn’t hurt now. And when people try to minimize your pain they are doing you a disservice. And when you try to minimize your own pain you’re doing yourself a disservice. Don’t do that. The truth is that it hurts because it’s real. It hurts because it mattered. And that’s an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn’t mean that it won’t end, that it won’t get better. Because it will.” —John Green (via themadyhatter)

(via proxie)

When you tie loose ends, the feeling’s good. No more hesitations, no setbacks. When you think it’s gonna happen, it will someday. Someday when you no longer feel strongly about wanting it to happen. 

I miss those long conversations out of the blue. I miss talking to you. I remember the first time we talked over the phone, we bid our goodbyes too much because no one wants to hang up first. I really like talking to you. But, but now I’m afraid. I’m afraid that you don’t want to talk to me anymore. I’m afraid that maybe you’d get annoyed and talking to me would just be a waste of your time.

There is something about this song that’s on repeat. It feels like my soul has been captivated - not by the melody nor by the lyrics - but by the memories. Those memories never stopped clinging onto this song. Every time I’d press play, those panoramas of good and bad memories pressed rewind. Why does it always have to go back to you? I haven’t grasp an answer but I never ran out of questions. I just wanted to hear this song play in innocence. I wanted to clear this particular song from the memories of the past. I wouldn’t want to feel any pang anymore. When I press play, I wanted it to play - go on forward and not to rewind those memories. And I hope that as I press stop, tagged memories would fade as well.

She suddenly felt fragmented. A weird and not really unusual covetous feeling seems running by her veins. She has always been possessive not of the things that she have, but of the persons that she valued the most. She has always been threatened by new people that might take her place. She was afraid of being replaced. She wanted to hold them so tight in her grip, but she knows that that wouldn’t help. It would only hurt them if she would. So she let them go, let them flow by the direction they pleased. She was left there, staring at their shadows as they flee away from her. New people and memories rained in their life. She was terrified but she couldn’t move. They were gone. She wanted to have them back. She desperately wanted to turn back the time and be with them again. Even just a moment, just a moment with them. But she don’t know how. So long, she cried.

As he looked at her gleaming eyes, he saw a vast ocean of memories. It’s filled with black and white panoramas of laughter and tears. Everything that has used to be. He was distracted by the way she laughed. The sound of her laughter was so alluring that stalled him from focusing. He can almost memorize her gestures. Even if it has long passed, he still saw those things. He almost got drowned in her presence. And right away he realized, he missed her a lot.

He thought about a good book. He’s been searching for it along every corner of the library until he saw it. He touched it and tried to feel every component of its matter. He slowly opened it and sniffed into its yellowish pages. He loves the smell of books, whether freshly printed pages or withered pages. He started to read about the author and be familiar of its thoughts. He introduced himself to each and every character. He went back to the time and date that sets the story. He has been part of the joys, the pains, the romance, the suffering, everything that happened in the story, happened to him, as well. He was indulging himself too much about that book and forgot that it was what he was thinking about.

To someone dear, to someone new;

I miss the impetuous moments we usually get just like an idea from the snap of our fingers. Spontaneity kept us going through times. As you continuously incite my wandering, I saw the moon from up above and remembered the times when we’re walking at the campus and staring at the moon together, having conversations like how we wished that our soul mates was also staring at the moon together with us without realizing that we are both staring at it. I was never really amazed by the beauty of the moon until you told me of its beauty. Just a glance on it would simply make me smile just like how you do to me. Thank You for coming into my life and making me realize that this world have a lot of beauties that we usually haven’t take time to notice.

Isn’t it strange that in the quiescent places, you can still feel the chaos of the world? Isn’t it strange that in the occupied places, you can still feel alone? Isn’t it strange how we complain about lacking time to stroll by the neighborhood but turning on your laptop for a minute turns out to be hours? Isn’t it strange how this world turned out to be?

“Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention?” —Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

As year 2011 leave, I’ve decided to leave with it all the pains and bad memories I’ve encountered this year but I’ll make sure to bring all the lessons I’ve learnt. I’m gonna stop looking back because it’s the main reason that causes me to stumble and fall. I’m gonna look forward to what lies ahead of me and trust God with all that is happening. I’m gonna set my priorities right and start to focus on the important things. The year 2011 has taught me a lot and though it caused me a lot of painful and heartbreaking experiences, I am still grateful for it taught me to be strong and gave me a lot of lessons to ponder on.

May we all have a prosperous and a blessed 2012. :) Happy New Year y’all! 

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” —Lewis Smedes
2011 has been a one wild river of emotions and obtrusive changes. There has been a lot of mishaps, as well as blessings. I’ve been through a really tremendous pace this year. And I saw how I really matured. I’ve made big mistakes and fortunately learned from it. I’ve lost some people that I truly deeply love and learnt how to deal with a serious case of moving on. I stumbled and failed on such important things, but I learnt to stand up. I met a lot of great new people. I’ve had one of a kind hands-on experiences concerning my course. I’ve had a hard time on maintaining my communicating skills with long-distance friends and failed to mend on the edge friendships. But I’m hopeful to fiddle this case the coming year. I turned 18 and got bigger responsibilities. I got lost in dark and grateful that God found me. I’ve found my way back to his arms and that’s the greatest thing that ever happened not only this year, but in my life. I guess, 2011 isn’t really that bad. Thank You for all the problems and blessings.  January - December, 2011 faces. :) It’s been a great year, but I’m looking forward to a greater one. Farewell, 2011. Go on. Look forward to what lies ahead and don’t look back to the past. Much love.

2011 has been a one wild river of emotions and obtrusive changes. There has been a lot of mishaps, as well as blessings. I’ve been through a really tremendous pace this year. And I saw how I really matured.

I’ve made big mistakes and fortunately learned from it. I’ve lost some people that I truly deeply love and learnt how to deal with a serious case of moving on. I stumbled and failed on such important things, but I learnt to stand up. I met a lot of great new people. I’ve had one of a kind hands-on experiences concerning my course. I’ve had a hard time on maintaining my communicating skills with long-distance friends and failed to mend on the edge friendships. But I’m hopeful to fiddle this case the coming year. I turned 18 and got bigger responsibilities. I got lost in dark and grateful that God found me. I’ve found my way back to his arms and that’s the greatest thing that ever happened not only this year, but in my life.

I guess, 2011 isn’t really that bad. Thank You for all the problems and blessings. 

January - December, 2011 faces. :) It’s been a great year, but I’m looking forward to a greater one. Farewell, 2011.

Go on. Look forward to what lies ahead and don’t look back to the past.

Much love.

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